its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
