Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
