You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
