On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the day after is always just damage control
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
