I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
