garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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