hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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