i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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