Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
