I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
