so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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