i barfeds in our rink
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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