i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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