Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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