"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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