it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
