just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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