Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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