Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
