Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
