I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
