Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
