i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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