so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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