# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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