is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
