Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
