I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
