so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
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Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.