it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
