Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.