I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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