The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
