im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
