Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize