How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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