i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I need moral support for this bender
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
