Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
