Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
