he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
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Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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