i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he puts the penis in happiness.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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