Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's always time for handjobs
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
