And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
