she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
