this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize