is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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