the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
