also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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