we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize