You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
whose parrot is this?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
