im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dignity is for republicans.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
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