I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
