who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
