i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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