And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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