This girl is more easily done than said...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
