that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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