What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
