even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
