I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
