Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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