It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize