Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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