my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize