just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
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So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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