i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
