Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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