I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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