Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
