when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
