Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
